anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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