man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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