i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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