I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
