I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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