Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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