Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
