Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
no you cant smoke seaweed
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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