If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
