So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
