The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
