carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
