i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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