no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
