If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
