Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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