You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
