God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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