Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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