Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Randomize
