It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
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