I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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