my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
