it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
