Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
