I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
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