remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
