Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
