butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
