he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
