dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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