I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
