I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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