He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
