It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
