I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Hippo gnu deer
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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