Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
