the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
