Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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