I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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