I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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