at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
