none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
