She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
