May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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