Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
