so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
