having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
