Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
