Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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